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I’m Not the Only One

  By Virginia T. Watson

  ******

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  I’m Not the Only One

  Copyright © 2015 by Virginia T. Watson

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  A hand let go.

  I’m on my own.

  I slipped away

  Into the unknown.

  Abyss, abyss,

  So overgrown,

  Over-indulged, full

  Of stones jagged enough

  To cut me up and

  Slit my throat

  Like a knife, cold as ice,

  Holding down, down,

  Pushing, putting

  Me under its weight, its all.

  It’s always

  Got me bound.

  When did it start?

  It’s already gone.

  Why did I cry?

  I’ve already been away so long.

  How did I get to this,

  To miss this thing, to be more

  Than a bit unseen, obscene, unclean, unloved,

  Under things that eat my soul

  Like a big, black bug.

  I’m undone.

  I’m already over, but I’m under,

  And I’m not the only one.

  The one that got away

  Was a friend to me, the other day.

  I had a guide through the pains of life

  To love, to love me

  And light my way,

  But then again, again, I’m at the end

  Of anything that had a meaning.

  The road, unseen, unsung, untold, defeated

  For me, cheated out of all I hold, I held.

  I’m told to go to Hell,

  But I’m already there.

  I’m a shadow, a shell, and I’m bruised, torn bare.

  I’m hollow. The sorrow

  Is more than I can take.

  Tomorrow is so fake. The rest

  Is never better. It only serves to take

  Away all that I had, all that I

  Could ever want or need.

  I’m dying in my hole. I’m crying for my soul.

  I’m already lying by saying that I care at all.

  When did it start?

  It’s already gone.

  Why did I cry?

  I’ve already been away so long.

  How did I get to this,

  To miss this thing, to be more

  Than a bit unseen, obscene, unclean, unloved,

  Under things that eat my soul

  Like a big, black bug.

  I’m undone.

  I’m already over, but I’m under,

  And I’m not the only one.

  I’m alone, but I’m not alone.

  I am the one that walks the night,

  Driven by pain in a darkened fright,

  Given up on giving up, never having

  Half of enough

  To go on or be strong or try to do

  What I have to just to get through

  Another day, some way, somehow,

  But even effort to say, “damn it all,”

  Is sometimes more than I can bring from lips

  So tired, so cold, so fired red and blue and blackened,

  Lacking chance to repeat what I’m told,

  To spew up the venom of your sentencing synonyms

  For all that you think I should regret and correct,

  All that I’ve done so wrong for so long, all of my deeds,

  And all of my sins in them.

  When did it start?

  It’s already gone.

  Why did I cry?

  I’ve already been away so long.

  How did I get to this,

  To miss this thing, to be more

  Than a bit unseen, obscene, unclean, unloved,

  Under things that eat my soul

  Like a big, black bug.

  I’m undone.

  I’m already over, but I’m under,

  And I’m not the only one.

  When did all of this start?

  I would have marked the occasion.

  Why do I cry for you or for me?

  I’m already gone, and it’s what it is to be.

  What it is to me

  Is ability to not miss a thing.

  But how did I get to this,

  To sometimes miss this thing, to be more

  Than a bit unseen, obscene, unclean, unloved,

  Under things that eat my soul,

  Just like, to me, you’ve always done.

  I’m undone.

  I’m already over, but I’m under,

  And I know I’m not

  The only one.

  Paint on My Lips

  I still have your kiss

  Painted on my lips,

  Fingertips inside

  A heart of stone and ice

  Is this all alright

  I can’t help but miss

  Every day that you were mine

  I could not resist,

  Taken in such a way, just as is,

  As all I was, as all inclined

  To believe all of your lies

  I despise so many days

  From then until right now

  Alone, tossed and thrown,

  Scattered all around,

  Drowning in a sea of memories,

  Realizing I’m on my own and beaten down

  This

  Is

  Nothing more than remiss,

  Envious of bliss,

  Forgetting to feel the sting

  Of plenteous, loving ability

  To do more than reminisce

  The ache, the pain, the strain

  Of empty, effusive loss,

  Pouring out my soul

  To the one that got away

  I couldn’t get across

  The chasm of your words

  I let you go for what you’d done

  I couldn’t let you stay

  Hope, no,

  No chance of one more way,

  No one can hear me scream,

  Even in my dreams, I’m silent

  I cannot say

  Anything that one might know

  No place has felt like home

  Since the one that I burned down

  When the bridge back to you was gone

  Your… kiss…

  Painted on my lips

  Painful to let slip in

  Your touch, mustered on my skin,

  Flustered when you’d begin,

  But that’s all left me here alone,

  Nowhere to call my own

  My blood is all worn so thin

  Every day that you were mine

  I could not resist,

  Taken in such a way, just as is,

  As all I was, as all inclined

  To believe all of your lies

  Why

  Did you have to make me cry,

  To envision that you could be ever true

  And make me believe in you

  Why

  Did you turn me into this,

  Someone so torn in two

  Lips, kiss, painted on,

  Forever knowing no wrong

  But everything all at once

  I, I have…

  I have your lips

  Mind, drawn, pained, refrain from

  Feeling all I miss

  Kiss, kiss painted on my lips
>
  Pain, printed on my face

  Eyes, impurely devilish

  Rotten remains I retain; I gain

  No more reason for life since you,

  So torn apart, so torn all over you

  I still have your kiss

  Painted on my lips,

  Painted on my lips, forever down to this,

  Lost in all this misery and all the love I miss

  Painted on my lips, lips; painted on my lips

  I Don’t Mean Anything

  All the time,

  You used to write to me.

  Now, you resist me mightily.

  You say that you moved on.

  I’m left with partiality.

  The harsh reality

  Is that you knew wrong

  From right from the start,

  But you went and broke my heart.

  Anyway, but anyhow…

  I can’t be your queen

  Cuz I don’t mean anything.

  Say what it is you want,

  When you speak, you

  Only affront

  My sense of decency.

  A strange part of me

  Still wants you back, is holding on

  To something so far gone

  That it never could come back,

  Never would be more than some bitter attack

  On everything, on the most of me.

  Should I just sit here and listen to these words

  Coming from someone so absurd,

  Storming inside with false and filthy

  Ferment of dirty first assured

  Righteously indignant, burning bursts

  Of fiery aggravated hurts?

  Do you know what it is you’ve done?

  I never did anything you accused me of

  Right before you chose to run…

  But I know,

  I’m o.k.; I’m the all

  That you could have had but

  Decided just to throw it all away.

  I laugh when I think of you.

  You show me what I shouldn’t do.

  I should never treat anyone

  Like you treated me.

  I should just chalk it up

  To some stupid used to be.

  Anyway, but anyhow…

  I can’t be your queen

  Cuz I don’t mean anything,

  And I hate that it’s too late

  For you to see that yet.

  If you can’t let yourself forget,

  Maybe you could just ignore me more.

  You could let your heart pass off regret,

  Act like it doesn’t bother you,

  And really wonder what you did that for.

  I might miss you some.

  I might wish we’d won

  Instead of losing out and losing hope.

  I don’t know

  How to cope,

  But I go on and prove to me

  That you were never worth the time

  It took to see

  That some are just wrong

  And are so damn scared

  That they can’t get along

  But tear down every bridge

  They tried to build just anywhere.

  And just so you know…

  Anyway, but anyhow…

  I can’t be your queen

  Cuz I don’t mean anything.

  I know now I never did.

  I meant less to you

  Than the best you ever knew,

  Though I was there

  In plain view.

  With wreckless abandon,

  You gave up on all of this,

  And if you’d just talked to me

  You would’ve seen I was worth the risk,

  But you couldn’t’ then, and you almost now

  But anyway, but anyhow…

  I can’t be your queen

  Cuz I don’t mean anything.

  I’m more than your mission

  Or something you swear that you’ve been missin’,

  So don’t come around anymore.

  I’m not your mat. I’m not some door,

  Always open and waiting for your return.

  The flesh that still can’t help but burn

  Singes at your touch,

  Skin crawling, joints unhinging at the thought

  Of being near you far too much.

  Go on.

  Leave me here to be

  Alone, on my own, away from

  Your fake honesty.

  But anyway, but anyhow…

  I can’t be your queen

  Cuz I don’t mean anything.

  I don’t mean anything.

  I don’t mean anything.

  Lies are what you’ve always said.

  Get that in your head; I know the truth.

  I know the you that is all bent and broken right in two

  From years of getting away with all you do.

  I know I don’t

  Mean anything.

  I know I don’t

  Make up your dream.

  I don’t, I can’t, I won’t

  Be your anything.

  For Our Sake

  We just met.

  I can't forget

  How you...

  How you give me no regrets.

  You make me sweat.

  I don't...

  I don't get

  Why I'm crazy for you

  And going crazier yet.

  You had to jet

  And leave me cold and wet.

  I've been lookin for someone like you.

  Please fill in the rest.

  You are the best.

  I must confess.

  Nobody...

  Nobody means more.

  You don't mean any less.

  When I'm stressed,

  People are pests...

  But you...

  But you clean up the mess.

  If I could hold you now,

  I'd give my whole world.

  Just to feel your touch,

  I'd do whatever it would take.

  It means that much

  To keep hoping

  For our sake.

  With you,

  It feels like anything goes.

  In your eyes,

  Who knows...

  What I might find.

  A lot of love and good times.

  No one should mind.

  You and me

  Eventually,

  Will be just fine.

  Looking into your picture,

  Wishing to know your sweet texture,

  I just lose control.

  When I'm feeling down each day,

  You talk to me and make me say

  Things I didn't think I could...

  Anymore.

  In some strange way,

  It seems I change for you.

  I need to know...

  What's in store.

  I'd like to be there with you

  Or have you here with me.

  My heart is telling me

  My life wouldn't be so bad as it is

  If I'd met you before.

  You make me

  Make me care again.

  You take my hand in my thoughts

  And give me something

  Something I can believe in.

  If I could hold you now,

  I'd give my whole world.

  Just to feel your touch,

  I'd do whatever it would take.

  It means that much

  To keep hoping

  For our sake.

  I'm not so perfect

  As I want myself to be.

  I'm sure I could be different

  So you could be proud of me.

  I think I could have happiness back

  If you were by my side.

  Having you in my life,

  I'd have nothing to hide from now on.

  I'd have the push I need...

  To go on.

  You'd give me the shove

&nb
sp; To make a so on and so on

  Forever even after death.

  Once again,

  I might have someone to take away my breath.

  If I could hold you now,

  I'd give my whole world.

  Just to feel your touch,

  I'd do whatever it would take.

  It means that much

  To keep hoping

  For our sake.

  Thanks for reading.

  Make sure to check out our most downloaded books. Everything on this list has been downloaded at least 250 times each. They're hot and only getting hotter! Most of these books are 100% free. Including: Erotica, Historical Fiction, Horror, Romance, Humor, Poetry, Historical Research, and more!

  Find me on facebook:

  https://www.facebook.com/virginiawatsonbooks