I'm Not the Only One
I’m Not the Only One
By Virginia T. Watson
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Published by:
I’m Not the Only One
Copyright © 2015 by Virginia T. Watson
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A hand let go.
I’m on my own.
I slipped away
Into the unknown.
Abyss, abyss,
So overgrown,
Over-indulged, full
Of stones jagged enough
To cut me up and
Slit my throat
Like a knife, cold as ice,
Holding down, down,
Pushing, putting
Me under its weight, its all.
It’s always
Got me bound.
When did it start?
It’s already gone.
Why did I cry?
I’ve already been away so long.
How did I get to this,
To miss this thing, to be more
Than a bit unseen, obscene, unclean, unloved,
Under things that eat my soul
Like a big, black bug.
I’m undone.
I’m already over, but I’m under,
And I’m not the only one.
The one that got away
Was a friend to me, the other day.
I had a guide through the pains of life
To love, to love me
And light my way,
But then again, again, I’m at the end
Of anything that had a meaning.
The road, unseen, unsung, untold, defeated
For me, cheated out of all I hold, I held.
I’m told to go to Hell,
But I’m already there.
I’m a shadow, a shell, and I’m bruised, torn bare.
I’m hollow. The sorrow
Is more than I can take.
Tomorrow is so fake. The rest
Is never better. It only serves to take
Away all that I had, all that I
Could ever want or need.
I’m dying in my hole. I’m crying for my soul.
I’m already lying by saying that I care at all.
When did it start?
It’s already gone.
Why did I cry?
I’ve already been away so long.
How did I get to this,
To miss this thing, to be more
Than a bit unseen, obscene, unclean, unloved,
Under things that eat my soul
Like a big, black bug.
I’m undone.
I’m already over, but I’m under,
And I’m not the only one.
I’m alone, but I’m not alone.
I am the one that walks the night,
Driven by pain in a darkened fright,
Given up on giving up, never having
Half of enough
To go on or be strong or try to do
What I have to just to get through
Another day, some way, somehow,
But even effort to say, “damn it all,”
Is sometimes more than I can bring from lips
So tired, so cold, so fired red and blue and blackened,
Lacking chance to repeat what I’m told,
To spew up the venom of your sentencing synonyms
For all that you think I should regret and correct,
All that I’ve done so wrong for so long, all of my deeds,
And all of my sins in them.
When did it start?
It’s already gone.
Why did I cry?
I’ve already been away so long.
How did I get to this,
To miss this thing, to be more
Than a bit unseen, obscene, unclean, unloved,
Under things that eat my soul
Like a big, black bug.
I’m undone.
I’m already over, but I’m under,
And I’m not the only one.
When did all of this start?
I would have marked the occasion.
Why do I cry for you or for me?
I’m already gone, and it’s what it is to be.
What it is to me
Is ability to not miss a thing.
But how did I get to this,
To sometimes miss this thing, to be more
Than a bit unseen, obscene, unclean, unloved,
Under things that eat my soul,
Just like, to me, you’ve always done.
I’m undone.
I’m already over, but I’m under,
And I know I’m not
The only one.
Paint on My Lips
I still have your kiss
Painted on my lips,
Fingertips inside
A heart of stone and ice
Is this all alright
I can’t help but miss
Every day that you were mine
I could not resist,
Taken in such a way, just as is,
As all I was, as all inclined
To believe all of your lies
I despise so many days
From then until right now
Alone, tossed and thrown,
Scattered all around,
Drowning in a sea of memories,
Realizing I’m on my own and beaten down
This
Is
Nothing more than remiss,
Envious of bliss,
Forgetting to feel the sting
Of plenteous, loving ability
To do more than reminisce
The ache, the pain, the strain
Of empty, effusive loss,
Pouring out my soul
To the one that got away
I couldn’t get across
The chasm of your words
I let you go for what you’d done
I couldn’t let you stay
Hope, no,
No chance of one more way,
No one can hear me scream,
Even in my dreams, I’m silent
I cannot say
Anything that one might know
No place has felt like home
Since the one that I burned down
When the bridge back to you was gone
Your… kiss…
Painted on my lips
Painful to let slip in
Your touch, mustered on my skin,
Flustered when you’d begin,
But that’s all left me here alone,
Nowhere to call my own
My blood is all worn so thin
Every day that you were mine
I could not resist,
Taken in such a way, just as is,
As all I was, as all inclined
To believe all of your lies
Why
Did you have to make me cry,
To envision that you could be ever true
And make me believe in you
Why
Did you turn me into this,
Someone so torn in two
Lips, kiss, painted on,
Forever knowing no wrong
But everything all at once
I, I have…
I have your lips
Mind, drawn, pained, refrain from
Feeling all I miss
Kiss, kiss painted on my lips
>
Pain, printed on my face
Eyes, impurely devilish
Rotten remains I retain; I gain
No more reason for life since you,
So torn apart, so torn all over you
I still have your kiss
Painted on my lips,
Painted on my lips, forever down to this,
Lost in all this misery and all the love I miss
Painted on my lips, lips; painted on my lips
I Don’t Mean Anything
All the time,
You used to write to me.
Now, you resist me mightily.
You say that you moved on.
I’m left with partiality.
The harsh reality
Is that you knew wrong
From right from the start,
But you went and broke my heart.
Anyway, but anyhow…
I can’t be your queen
Cuz I don’t mean anything.
Say what it is you want,
When you speak, you
Only affront
My sense of decency.
A strange part of me
Still wants you back, is holding on
To something so far gone
That it never could come back,
Never would be more than some bitter attack
On everything, on the most of me.
Should I just sit here and listen to these words
Coming from someone so absurd,
Storming inside with false and filthy
Ferment of dirty first assured
Righteously indignant, burning bursts
Of fiery aggravated hurts?
Do you know what it is you’ve done?
I never did anything you accused me of
Right before you chose to run…
But I know,
I’m o.k.; I’m the all
That you could have had but
Decided just to throw it all away.
I laugh when I think of you.
You show me what I shouldn’t do.
I should never treat anyone
Like you treated me.
I should just chalk it up
To some stupid used to be.
Anyway, but anyhow…
I can’t be your queen
Cuz I don’t mean anything,
And I hate that it’s too late
For you to see that yet.
If you can’t let yourself forget,
Maybe you could just ignore me more.
You could let your heart pass off regret,
Act like it doesn’t bother you,
And really wonder what you did that for.
I might miss you some.
I might wish we’d won
Instead of losing out and losing hope.
I don’t know
How to cope,
But I go on and prove to me
That you were never worth the time
It took to see
That some are just wrong
And are so damn scared
That they can’t get along
But tear down every bridge
They tried to build just anywhere.
And just so you know…
Anyway, but anyhow…
I can’t be your queen
Cuz I don’t mean anything.
I know now I never did.
I meant less to you
Than the best you ever knew,
Though I was there
In plain view.
With wreckless abandon,
You gave up on all of this,
And if you’d just talked to me
You would’ve seen I was worth the risk,
But you couldn’t’ then, and you almost now
But anyway, but anyhow…
I can’t be your queen
Cuz I don’t mean anything.
I’m more than your mission
Or something you swear that you’ve been missin’,
So don’t come around anymore.
I’m not your mat. I’m not some door,
Always open and waiting for your return.
The flesh that still can’t help but burn
Singes at your touch,
Skin crawling, joints unhinging at the thought
Of being near you far too much.
Go on.
Leave me here to be
Alone, on my own, away from
Your fake honesty.
But anyway, but anyhow…
I can’t be your queen
Cuz I don’t mean anything.
I don’t mean anything.
I don’t mean anything.
Lies are what you’ve always said.
Get that in your head; I know the truth.
I know the you that is all bent and broken right in two
From years of getting away with all you do.
I know I don’t
Mean anything.
I know I don’t
Make up your dream.
I don’t, I can’t, I won’t
Be your anything.
For Our Sake
We just met.
I can't forget
How you...
How you give me no regrets.
You make me sweat.
I don't...
I don't get
Why I'm crazy for you
And going crazier yet.
You had to jet
And leave me cold and wet.
I've been lookin for someone like you.
Please fill in the rest.
You are the best.
I must confess.
Nobody...
Nobody means more.
You don't mean any less.
When I'm stressed,
People are pests...
But you...
But you clean up the mess.
If I could hold you now,
I'd give my whole world.
Just to feel your touch,
I'd do whatever it would take.
It means that much
To keep hoping
For our sake.
With you,
It feels like anything goes.
In your eyes,
Who knows...
What I might find.
A lot of love and good times.
No one should mind.
You and me
Eventually,
Will be just fine.
Looking into your picture,
Wishing to know your sweet texture,
I just lose control.
When I'm feeling down each day,
You talk to me and make me say
Things I didn't think I could...
Anymore.
In some strange way,
It seems I change for you.
I need to know...
What's in store.
I'd like to be there with you
Or have you here with me.
My heart is telling me
My life wouldn't be so bad as it is
If I'd met you before.
You make me
Make me care again.
You take my hand in my thoughts
And give me something
Something I can believe in.
If I could hold you now,
I'd give my whole world.
Just to feel your touch,
I'd do whatever it would take.
It means that much
To keep hoping
For our sake.
I'm not so perfect
As I want myself to be.
I'm sure I could be different
So you could be proud of me.
I think I could have happiness back
If you were by my side.
Having you in my life,
I'd have nothing to hide from now on.
I'd have the push I need...
To go on.
You'd give me the shove
&nb
sp; To make a so on and so on
Forever even after death.
Once again,
I might have someone to take away my breath.
If I could hold you now,
I'd give my whole world.
Just to feel your touch,
I'd do whatever it would take.
It means that much
To keep hoping
For our sake.
Thanks for reading.
Make sure to check out our most downloaded books. Everything on this list has been downloaded at least 250 times each. They're hot and only getting hotter! Most of these books are 100% free. Including: Erotica, Historical Fiction, Horror, Romance, Humor, Poetry, Historical Research, and more!
Find me on facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/virginiawatsonbooks